True friendship is one in which friends are comfortable being simply themselves. Friends do not need to put up with formalities between each other, they respect the other’s individuality, and they share each other’s highs and lows in life.
What Is a Good Friend
Everyone will have their own perspective on what defines a friend. There have been numerous inspiring quotes on friendships from great writers as well as sayings from the scriptures. This article provides basic characteristics of a good friend:
- Firstly, there’s the mutual attraction, that is, friends like each other.
- Secondly, a friend is expected to contribute to the relationship.
- Thirdly, there’s the desire that friendship is supportive, loyal, trusting, and fun.
Also, the time spent with friends can vary with age:
- For children, friendship is based on playing and sharing.
- For adolescents, friendships involve self-disclosure, emotional support and common activities.
- For adults, family and work become central, the main focus.
- For the elderly, friendships become important for companionship and support.
Youth tend to spend a lot more time with their friends than do adults.
How to Be a Good Friend
To be a good friend, a lot of things that can be done seem like common sense yet stand as challenges, for no one is perfect. Below describe the types of good friends who can help strengthen existing relationships or make new friends.
Be Loyal
If a friend shares something personal or confidential with you, keep it to yourself. Trust is important. Care for your friend’s reputation when they’re not around.
Be Thoughtful and Mindful
Make spending quality time with your friend a priority and keep up to date with what is happening in his or her life. Be supportive especially in your friend’s down moments.
Be Proud of Your Friend’s Success
Celebrate your friend’s joys and wins. Sometimes it’s easier to support a friend in hard times than be enthusiastic when something wonderful happens. Share that genuine excitement and fun.
Be Caring and Compassionate
As with all relationships, friendships inevitably result in hurt feelings on occasion. Be forgiving when this happens and try to manage your arguments. Perhaps your friend has one of those bad hair days.
Be a Good Listener
Give full attention when your friend is sharing something and acknowledge what they are saying, but resist the urge to interrupt with your own story. Also, sharing our own innermost thoughts and feelings is important in a good friendship.
When Are Friends Not True Friends?
Friends cease to be true friends when they harm friendships. They exhibit the opposite of the traits that characterize a good friend. Consider re-evaluating your relationship with a supposed friend when they pressure you into doing things you are not comfortable with, something that can damage your self-esteem. A bad friend speaks ill of you and puts you down.
When friendship sours, try to resolve the issue by communicating with your friend. Focus on the action and not on the person's character. Another way is to suggest ways to improve the relationship. However, if the issue persists and your well-being is significantly affected, consider moving on.
How Can We Help and Support Our Friends?
When friends are experiencing stress or hardship, we have an important role in providing social support and helping them to cope. Support to friends can be manifested in various ways, including:
- Emotional Concerns – For example, listening to their worries and concerns, or being “there” to make them feel they are not alone.
- Concrete Manifestations – For example, bringing them food or offering to help when they are sick.
- Advice – Giving information and sharing knowledge.
It’s never easy to find a good friend, and it’s often been said that to find a good friend, we need to be one. Despite the back-stabbing, manipulation and faithlessness in this world, every now and then, a true friend comes along. Among other things, true friendship thrives on trust, comfort and a loving care.
Source
2010 Fact Sheet: Mental Health Association. Sydney, Australia.
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